ANTOnline.com - Vanguard Cinema DVF7310D STUPID TEENAGERS MUST DIE (DVD)

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Reviewed on 2007-10-26

This flick belongs in any true horror fan's Halloween lineup!!!!
In this parody/tribute to the greatest time in horror movie history - the 1980's - a group of stupid teens are getting together to host a seance in the house of the notorious Murder McGee, who butchered his entire family a few years back and buried them in the back yard. As I'm sure you can guess, things go from bad to worse faster than you can say "Where's the beef??" and in typical 80's horror movie fashion the deaths are bloody, the dialogue is cheesy, and beautiful women are taking off their clothes every chance they get. Good times...

No clique or 80's horror movie clichéd characterizations are left unrepresented here. In fact, no stone was left unturned at all - we have the cool hero, his innocent girlfriend, the Goth chick, the tough thug (think John Bender), the hot blonde who keeps losing her shirt, the shy dork in love with the hot blonde that keeps losing her shirt, a couple of gorgeous half-naked lesbians, and two big geeks.

As you can plainly see, the cast is pretty big. Usually, larger casts are where things can fall apart quickly, with one or two sour apples buggering up the whole barrel. Not in this case though. Not a single cast member left me disappointed. The acting was very well done. Everyone from the cool hero in his Thriller jacket played by Jovan Meredith to the grooovy Goth chick played by Renee Dorian to Geeks One & Two played by Cory Assink & Jonathan Brett - they all played it straight, brought their A-game, and knocked it out of the park. If you're a fan of Gary & Wyatt in Weird Science, you'll immediately fall in love with the geeks.

Director/co-writer Jeff C. Smith is a guy to watch for in the future, trust me on this. If this is what he can do with a low budget, there are nothing but good things ahead for him when he gets more money for future projects. The characters were dead on; the atmosphere was perfect; the laughs were huge; the blood flowed, and squirted, and sprayed beautifully - it was just like watching a horror movie from the 1980's. Call this one "THE BREAKFAST CLUB meets NIGHT OF THE DEMONS"!!!

The tag line says it all, and says it honestly - "EXCESSIVE VIOLENCE; GRATUITOUS NUDITY; ZERO BUDGET" - no false advertising here, folks! As fans of this genre, we have to look to the indies and support these hard-working folks who are busting their humps out there bringing us original tales, lest we forever get stuck in a world filled with big studio watered-down PG-13 'horror' or pointless remakes like The Hitcher. No, thank you - no more of that for me.

In closing, I honestly have to say that STUPID TEENAGERS MUST DIE! is by far one of the best indie flicks I've gotten the pleasure of watching this year. It's a bloody good time, and holds up on repeat viewings. From the dialogue to the characters to the wardrobe...even the closing love theme over the end credits (which if that doesn't bring back fits of laughter recalling mid-80's power ballads by REO Speedwagon - over-pronoucned R's on every word starting with the letter 'R' - then I'll eat my DVD right now)...bottom line is, if you're a fan of 80's horror or horror in general, no more hesitation - this flick deserves to be in your collection!!

Reviewed on 2007-10-26

Good Old Fashioned Low Budget Fun!!
STMD! is one of the most fun and enjoyable low-budget films I've seen in quite some time. Director Jeff Smith (who also served as co-writer, cinematographer and editor) definitely shows his love of underappreciated 80's horror films with this movie! Anyone who loves the cheesiness, preposterous situations, wacky and stereotypical characters of 80's horror movies will definitely love this very tongue-in-cheek homage to the past.

STMD! definitely lives up to the qualities described in the poster and then some. It has all the "excessive violence" and "gratuitous nudity" that is reminiscent of those entertaining 80's horror movies we all love. I had a blast watching STMD! From the 80's outfits that the stereotypical characters wear to the blood splatter to the goofy tone I just couldn't get enough!

Reviewed on 2007-10-23

If Only I Were A Frat Guy (Or A Guy Period) Could I Like It More...
Cheezy? Yep. Poorly filmed? You betcha. Zero budget? They proudly claim it on their posters. Brilliant anyway (or because of it)? For sure.

This movie celebrates (and makes fun of) everything that was classic about the 80s teen horror genre: Characters with absolutely no depth, fitting into a stereotyped roll they never escape for a moment; teenagers trying to survive a slaying by some mysterious force they disturbed by doing something lamely adolescent; completely gratuitous nudity; impossible amounts of blood coming out of victims; slow moving zombies; great one-liners... and our hero even wears a Michael Jackson jacket!

This is not an all-out spoof like Scary Movie, but more a tribute film to the lost innocence of the 80s horror movies... when being scared and grossed out could also be a fun, silly, sexy, and goofy good time!

Reviewed on 2007-10-01

How About A Review From Someone Who Actually Watched The Movie?!?!
So, we have reviews from two people thus far that have not watched the movie at all. One guy stopped 20 minutes into the film and the other guy is confused or something. lol

STUPID TEENAGERS MUST DIE is an independent horror flick that is done in tribute to 80's horror movies. All the classic characters are here, the jock, the rebel, the hot chick and the nerds. Anybody who grew up watching 80's horror movies can easily see where the writers and director of the movie got their ideas. Like in those old 80's films, the characters are one dimensional and the acting at times is silly, but isn't that the point they were trying to make? I sure think so.

The story is simple, a group of teenagers spend the night in a house where a man murdered his family and these kids get the brilliant idea to try to raise his spirit. As the deaths start to occur, several female characters get naked and the other characters make stupid decisions. How friggin' 80's horror is that?! The story sticks to the normal formulas, but there are couple of nice little ideas here and there. I really enjoyed the possessed/zombie type thing that starts to happen at the end.

As for the film itself, being an indepedent movie that had little to no budget at all, the film does suffer at times. The sound at certain points in the movie is pretty bad and some of the lighting is terrible. Sure, all those cheesy 80's horror flicks had very little budgets, but this movie makes those look like they had a Spider-Man 3 sized budget.

However, you shouldn't let these production problems keep you from enjoying the good the movie has to offer. Sure, it is not perfect, but the movie has some decent ideas, a bunch of good laughs and actress Lindsay Gareth's amazing breasts.

Reviewed on 2007-09-28

For fans of slasher horror.
Honestly, the other reviewer must not have seen this. This movie is a documentary about teen slasher horror movies. It features numerous critics, film makers, and actors discussing how the teen slasher film has affected horror as a genre, and generations of film goers.
This is interesting if you love horror, and if you do, check it out.

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STUPID TEENAGERS MUST DIE (DVD)

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